Wow! It's really been a long time!

Wow! I really can't believe that I haven't posted since April! I knew it had been a while, but didn't realize it had been that long. I guess I have had a lot happen since then. Not good stuff, either.

Social Security Disability finally denied my claim. It was no surprise, because they deny 70% of the people who file the first time. I need to get off my keester and file an appeal.

My twinsters turned two! They continue to amaze me every day. Their language has really exploded and it's really neat to be able to carry on a conversation with them now. I was watching them tonight and felt a twinge of jealousy. They are so good to each other, so caring, giving and just really enjoy each other. Not only have I always wanted a sister, but I have always wanted a best friend. No, they don't always get along perfectly, they do have their squabbles, but they never last, they work it out, just like friends, and sisters should. The twin bond is one of the neatest things I have ever witnessed. I wish everyone could have a set of twins.

Gabby starts school in 2 days, Kinderkid. She will be going to the afternoon session. I pray for her teacher and that she will be a good teacher for Gabby. With Gabby not liking pre-school last year, that was really hard on this mom's heart. I do hope that she loves school and loves her teacher this year and that her teacher knows how to deal with smart, yet immature and overly energetic children like my Gabriella Pearl.

I continue to struggle in my day-to-day life. I cannot function like I used to, or most of the rest of the population. I have felt like I am drowning. I am back in counseling. I need help dealing with the "new" me. I can never be the "old" me again. I really want to just be able to get up, shower, and do whatever I want to do in a day. The fact is, somedays, just getting out of bed takes all I have. And some days, I can't even get out of bed. Oh how you don't fully appreciate your health until it's gone.

I have learned a few things that I want in life....snuggling! Lots and lots of snuggling! and affection! Those are things I truly crave. And to be wanted, needed and desired. It seems like for me, though, that is asking too much.

Well, I just wanted to post. Probably my very small audiance is gone, since I haven't posted in 4 months. Hopefully I'll get better again.